Have you ever wanted more from your life? To have more fun, more time and money? To feel more joy and self-belief? To have a fun and love-filled relationship with your partner and children? To really feel like you are fulfilling your potential and achieving your dreams?
These goals had always been part of the vision for my life. Becoming a Dad made those things even more important.
The breakdown of my marriage and impact on mental health was tough but it didn’t change my goals. The life I desired was even clearer to me.
The challenge was still how to make it happen. As I wrestled with those questions a vision of Team Super Dad was born. What if I pulled together the people I knew who were successful in the different areas of life and created a system to equip and empower Dads? It would be a community to learn from and laugh with. It would be a team of super Dads.
Whatever your story, Team Super Dad is about pushing through and creating the life you know you deserve.
I’ve always been pretty good at anything I did. I’m nosy and interested in new things. This leads to lots of creative ideas and a willingness to be the speaker at the front of the room.
My career in marketing came out of that. It was easy at University. I enjoyed it and I got recognition for it. So it seemed like the obvious career. First in marketing agencies in London and Amsterdam, and then in digital marketing for a number of international organisations. At various points, I questioned if it was what I really wanted to do. I explored coaching, fitness training and nutrition. Each time money and the safety of the familiar stopped me. I just never made the jump.
I now know at age 47 that I should have. That natural ability to succeed, combined with following my instincts, would have given me the success and fulfilment I couldn’t find in my career. I know from conversations this is a familiar story for many Dads.
As Zig Zigler said, “Money isn’t everything but it is right up there with oxygen”. We all need to work. We all need money. Some Dads though are smashing it. Why can’t we all? Why can’t we learn from those that are? The answer is of course that we can.
Team Super Dads is about finding a passion for your work and having an abundance of money.
My Marriage And Divorce
You may still be in a relationship. It may even be quite good. But that is not enough. I am committed to men having wonderful relationships.
We started off so happy and in love. Then we had money troubles and miscarriages leading to communication issues. Then she had a 5-year pain and fatigue illness; I thought my wife was dying. Two weeks after I buried my little brother we split up for the first time. Eight months later, after another argument, I left. I’d been through tough times before but this was the worst. I was broken, depressed and not a good version of myself.
Our marriage lasted 7 years. There was no reconciliation. She did not want it and I see now that was for the best.
Then came the process of divorce and fighting for equal time with my children. It was not pleasant or easy. The learning curve was steep and I wish I had known in the beginning what I know now. Dads who had walked the path already encouraged me to stay calm and see the longer-term picture. I couldn’t though. I was angry, sad and frightened about not seeing my children. It took four years to secure 50/50 contact with my children. It took 4 years before I was able to reassure other Dads just as I had been.
What I found as I went through this process was the huge numbers of Dads going through the same pain and struggle. It is a brutal experience and whilst information is all around us, finding the best way to repair and rebuild my life was incredibly hard. If I could have saved the marriage in the first place that would have been ideal but I lacked the knowledge. Then after the separation, if I could have managed the situation better and found the right help quicker it would have been better for both myself and my children.
My experiences, knowledge and desire to help other men has been baked into the goals for Team Super Dad. Whether in or out of your relationship the life you desire – and more – is possible.
Team Super Dad is about relationships. A life of love and laughter.
Breakdown And Recovery
Your story may be different. It may not be about a relationship. It could be your work. It could be parenting. It could be an inner battle with your self-confidence. It could be all of them. I know though that the experience and the solution are almost always the same. We are in this together.
Even the slightest level of unhappiness, frustration or stress can be a struggle. I’ve worked with Dads who are incredibly successful but the stress of maintaining it is what is hurting them – and their family. It is lonely, it seems never-ending, it impacts other areas of your life.
It doesn’t need to be like this though. It is possible to live without this in our lives. And it starts with help and support from people who understand.
I had to work hard to repair myself. Medication, counselling, fitness, even a singing club. Thankfully there was the love and support of a few good friends and my family. Once I found a good counsellor the work of grieving properly and repairing my heartache became enlightening.
As for the tablets, I wasn’t happy at first about taking anti-depressants. When the Dr helped me understand though that they were medicine to repair my mental health I began to approach the subject as my recovery. I got wise about what I was taking. I took full responsibility for how much I was taking and for how long I wanted to be on them – 1 year.
The sorrow and the experience of starting again can lead to the ultimate loss that is suicide. The rate of male suicide will testify to this. I’ve experienced suicide around me and it could not possibly be a solution but none the less the dark thoughts emerged.
I did not realise such thoughts were so dangerous. They start as just one possible solution. Before you know it those solutions start to become fewer and the ones that remain more possible. Then the slightest incident can lead to disaster. Thankfully such choices no longer cross my mind. It reminds me though how mentally ill I was.
Team Super Dad is about inner strength, focus and positive energy.
Team Super Dad Vision
It’s September 2016 and I am climbing Austria’s highest peak. I have a little climbing experience but am counting on my best friend and guide. We have the equipment we need but aren’t expecting a blizzard to arrive as we cross a crevasse. One foot in front of the other, tied together by 10 metres of rope, I should be concentrating (or maybe it is because I am) but all I can think about is far I have come on my journey. I wonder how many other Dads in the World are in the same place as I was or am. I question how the hell am I going to take this to the next level. Then I start thinking about all the goals and ambitions that I used to have before my marriage. In particular The Lodge. A holiday escape for Dads to reconnect with what they want from life and to create an inspiring future with their families.
As the wind and snow whip around us, clear thoughts fill my mind. Dads need a programme and support to get them through this madness. I’ve come so far but it was hard and took too long. I think about the different areas of my life that I have addressed – health, wealth, happiness – and the ones that still need help. There are loads of experts out there on all these subjects. If I could just get them to share some of that. If I could pull together other Dads in the same situation; maybe some of them are the experts or could simply inspire and support each other. We need a Team. We need a Dads Team. No. What we need is a Team of Super Dads.
As the wind and snow calm themselves, the sun blazes down from around the clouds. The mountain hostel appears on the horizon. All I can think about is getting in there, finding a pen and paper and getting these thoughts of Team Super Dad down.
It took until 2019 to bring Team Super Dad to life. I couldn’t break free of my previous work. I feared for too long that it would not work. Just the same challenges we all face when we want to make a break and start something new.
Team Super Dad is about having the confidence to make bold decisions in your life.
Creating The Life Of My Dreams
Upon achieving 50/50 contact with my children the stress of that distraction lifted like a fog. The reality of my whole life’s experiences leading to this moment. My journey through personal development, self-awareness, faith and coaching others around me. The vision in 2007 for The Lodge and then Team Super Dad in 2016. The pain of my divorce, mental breakdown and child court. The acknowledgement from Dads (and Mums) that I have supported. The acceptance of my skills around fitness, juicing, parenting, business, divorce and mental health. And most significantly, experiencing my children growing up and being inspired by their growth and development. There is no better time for Team Super Dad. To bring it to life and believe in the good it does for Dads, their children, our communities and generations to come.
My vision is of Team Super Dad coaching programmes around the World. Communities of Super Dads forming friendships and creating successful lives. Repairing relationships or finding new ones. Having an abundance of confidence, money and fun. Feeling and looking great.
External to Team Super Dad we will fight for equal parenting rights for men and women and to save all families from the pain of suicide.
I wanted to take back control of my life and make sure my kids were happy. Jonnie helped me take a new perspective on the situation. I deal with the ex better and have more fun with my kids than ever before. I'm excited about my future at last.
— Chris Errington, UK
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